Many people, men and women, are making a conscious choice to not have children because they do not believe this world is worth living in. As a generally optimistic person I have always found beauty in the small things, plenty of reasons why the world is great, and a lot of joy in raising my child. But I have had to contemplate exactly the kind of future he is going into and like those other young people have sensed, it looks like an awful one.
Navigating all the new problems that haven’t been seen prior to the last fifty years makes it difficult to rely on history for answers. Trying to explain internet safety when parents aren’t aware of all the possible threats is difficult. Attempting to explain identity politics in a way that makes sense is challenging. Trying to define what qualities to look for in a “good” woman or a “good” man without diminishing a huge part of the population is practically impossible. And if we can’t figure out which qualities to embody, how can we go forward into a positive future?
We know something isn’t working. Or several somethings. Yet when we try to go back to traditional values, we run into a broken paradigm. Some traditional ways of thinking seem to work, but other parts definitely don’t. The stay at home mom of yesterday appeared to celebrate traditional female values and yet closed the door of expression to the women who wanted to focus on life outside of the home. Today women still face societal pressure. If you are a stay at home mom, people wonder why you aren’t also working as if there was something inadequate about homemaking.
Men don’t have it any easier. Where there were plenty of manual labor jobs in the past, so many of them have been taken overseas or automated. With computer based jobs everywhere, men do not need to be as fit they once were. They are shamed for aggressive behaviors, but the usual outlets like hard physical work are diminishing leaving gym workouts or sports as the only way to stay fit. Then ladies say there aren’t enough virile men around. Studies show that the libido of today’s men are much lower than fifty years ago. Not only is the conscious desire to have children much less, the physical desire to make children is also less.
Throw into the mix that young people can not afford houses or apartments and we can easily see where the diminished hope for the future is coming from. Present day society has rightfully questioned everything, but has made a mess of understanding what is truly important in life. Maybe it’s like cleaning out a closet. You have to take everything out, decide what to keep and what to throw away, and then put things back in a better more organized manner. We, as a collective, just haven’t decided what is worth keeping yet.
There is a lot of pain in this decision-making process. A letting go of the old and embracing uncertainty because we haven’t figured out what will work. Everyone has an opinion, but not everyone is happy. I think this is a clue to revealing the right direction for us. Who are the happiest people you know and what are the guiding principles that they are living by?
The Ringing Cedars book series suggests an interesting solution. Men and women should agree to co-create a space of love for their future generations. It takes about a year to formulate the plan and build it out. In this year, the man and woman are not engaged in sexual relations. They only come together in a very intentional way when they are ready to procreate. It seems simple, but this way of doing things has a myriad of implications. Those looking for quick gratification will be weeded out. Those whose future dreams do not align will not stay together and those who have trouble attaching to another will be found out in this year.
Both parties will have to learn to control their sexual impulses. Anyone who has seriously considered how to handle celibacy has probably found the techniques of semen retention. Besides redirecting lustful energy, SR has been shown to increase a man’s health and libido. There is also a huge spiritual component to SR. Dark energies congregate around those who are unconscious of the energies they are putting out leading to more perverted behaviors. When a person, man or woman, takes responsibility for their energy, opportunities for quicker evolution become possible.
So the one year waiting while planning period is perhaps one of the most important elements to co-creating a reality that is more hopeful for the people of today. Working on actually building the space of love as a team will take care of the physical fitness part of the equation. As to what constitutes a “good” man or woman can clearly be seen in those who manage to successfully co-create that beautiful space for their descendants.
If our children or grandchildren want to live in the space we have created, then the future had been salvaged. There is hope. There is something worth living for and there is a reason to have children because their initial needs will be provided for with ease. Who can better appreciate the hard work, the dreams, and the wonderful result of making a home designed to provide for generations to come than those we carried in infancy and who now carry our hopes into the future?
Is this world worth living in? Maybe not as it seems to be unfolding right now. However, if we had an alternative set of principles to live by, we could make the world worth living in again. Young people would again see the value in having children and society overall would be far happier, less confused, and dystopian going forward. It starts with conscious co-creation of a home with long-term goals in mind. It is possible.
