7 Reasons Our Relationship Works (The Male Perspective)


Reid and Soanya 2007

People often look at Soanya and I and think we are an odd couple. Yes, we are an odd couple, I am considerably older than Soanya, much taller, I have a very wild background, and not much security to offer her. We have been together for nine years through the most amazing events, hardships, constant financial difficulties, life and death situations, an unexpected pregnancy, and an uncertain future, but we have always been happy and excited about each other. In fact our relationship immediately entered epic dimensions when we agreed we would be a couple years ago. The uniqueness of our situation was that Soanya agreed to sail away with me on my schooner in an attempt to live at sea for 1000 days non-stop. I spent my life sailing to the furthest places in the world on the wildest adventures. However, Soanya had just finished college and still lived with her parents in Queens, NYC. How would our relationship work?

  1. I would say we were physically attracted to each other. Our physical attraction immediately worked. Something about our yin and our yang, our positive and negative, our male and female energies connected and bonded together deeply and felt as if it was meant to be. I felt irresistibly drawn to her mysterious beauty on every level. Soanya is very centered and secure within herself and does not need the guys on the street whistling at her. She is discreet and would not have revealed herself to me if she had not been attracted to me.
  2. We agreed to join together to set our sights as on a common goal. Soanya said she wanted to sail with me for 1000 days non-stop at sea, without stopping or resupply, as far as possible from land. I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that she could do it. I let her know that I believed she could do what no woman had ever done. Her commitment to my lifetime goal bonded us together.
  3. Our relationship began with the greatest of mutual gratitude. I felt that since she was ready to risk her life with me and go into possible suffering and death on the path of a higher goal, then I was in the club of men who felt they were the luckiest men alive. I became a man who felt the greatest appreciation to have the commitment of a woman.
  4. This made it easy for us to treat each other well. I always remembered that I was attracted to her, and was thankful. I continued to treat her as well as I could under all situations.
  5. We had great, mind-blowing sex. Somehow it seemed to get better every time even year after year. I know this has something to do with our yogic practices as well.
  6. I was ready to settle down. After the 1000 Days voyage I didn’t have any more grand adventures planned. I had done almost everything I wanted to do like seeing faraway places, partying, sailing for long periods of time, facing countless storms, building two boats, etc. It was time to think about what family meant to me.
  7. We felt secure with each other. We continue to be bonded with our sights set upon mutual goals that keep us feeling we are satisfied with each other and can face the future together.

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